Adjusting to the ‘new you’ after divorce

On Behalf of | Aug 4, 2023 | Divorce

We all have many roles in life: parent, child, friend, worker or business owner. Of all these relationships that help define us, perhaps nothing (except for parent) is as important as husband or wife. When you and your spouse got married, you committed to love each other and be partners through the joys and trials of life “til death do us part.”

But as we all know, it does not always work out that way. Though virtually everybody gets married with good intentions, problems often arise that make the marriage unworkable. Infidelity, financial strain, domestic violence and simply growing apart are all common reasons people in Boston file for divorce.

Whatever the reasons your marriage is ending, it marks a major transition in your life. Your role as a spouse is ending, at least for a while, and your life as a parent might be changing dramatically. If those roles made up a significant part of your identity, it is natural to wonder who you are now.

A new you

Or, to put it more positively, divorce can be an opportunity to reinvent yourself. After divorce, many people take up new hobbies like sports, travel or art. These new activities and interests can lead to new friendships and romantic prospects. This can be healthy, when it is not something like drinking too much or overeating.

But at the same time, you should not totally lose sight of the person you used to be. For one thing, if you and your ex have children together, you will continue to be their parent, even if you are sharing child custody or your ex has sole custody. The kids need you to continue to be someone they can rely on while they adjust to the new situation. A balance between self-development and remembering what made you who you are is the way to go.

A firm basis for moving on from divorce

Of course, emotional growth after divorce generally is only possible with the right divorce settlement. That starts with finding the right divorce attorney to represent you.